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OLD FLAMES / NEW FLAMES

by Total Betty

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1.
Bruises 04:31
I got bruises bruises bruises on my thigh-igh-igh-igh-igh-ighs Think of yr hands and tee-ee-ee-ee-ee-eeth and all of your lie-ie-ie-ie-ie-ies I was so smitten smitten smitten I thought you were so sweet-eet such a treat I shoulda known better better better It was never meant to be-e-e-e-e-e No one wants to call it call it call it possessiveness and jealousy jella-see We speak in co-oh-oh-oh-oh-ode Relationship hier-hierarchy Can I say I have bruises bruises bruises on my hea-ah-ah-ah-ah-art though I'm elated, relieved, grateful to fin'ly be apart apart apart You can't see me see me see me no mo-oh-oh-oh-oh-ore You took me for granted granted granted I had to show you the do-oh-oh-oh-oh-oor I know you miss me miss me miss me That much is for sure-oh-oh-oh-oh-ure First time in my li-ie-ie-ie-ie-ife the ball is in my co-oh-oh-oh-ourt Na na na na na na na na na nya nya nya nya nya nya nya nya nya ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
2.
I'm on a clinic vacation (yeah yeah!) I got my sweatpants on They're taking my blood This is gonna be fun I'm on a clinic vacation (yeah yeah!) Sleeping in a bunk bed I hear whispers in the dark Just like summer camp I'm on a clinic vacation (yeah yeah!) Outta bed at five am No caffeine allowed Should see the state I'm in 1-2-3 won't you come with me 4-5-6 just for kicks 7-8-9 that bonus cheque will be mine! I'm on a clinic vacation (yeah yeah!) Critical breakfast Bacon, eggs, and hashbrowns Milk and toast I'm on a clinic vacation (yeah yeah!) Gotta swallow this pill Four hours idle Catch up on my mail I'm on a clinic vacation (yeah yeah!) Lights out at ten A weekend locked indoors Gotta pay the rent 1-2-3 won't you come with me 4-5-6 just for kicks 7-8-9 that bonus cheque will be mine! Hey, Amber! Yeah, Tiffany? I need to know... did the needle hurt? I like the pain... How much blood do they take? Twenty vials a day! Did you make any friends? No, I just hide in the corner with my book But like, how much do they pay you? ONE THOUSAND DOLLARS Oooh but like, aren't you afraid of the side effects? I'm not scared! Did you ever vomit? Uhhh yeah but only one tiiime ugggghhhhh bleeeccchhhh I'm on a clinic vacation Let me go I've had enough I wanna go home!
3.
I Gotta Go 03:30
I bite my lips in nervousness wondering what to say Thought I could do this but it turns out I'm much too shy today One more drink, one more song before I'm on my way A hug goodnight held on too long Je laisse tomber mes idées I gotta go Biking home under the stars I replay my day So many words left unsaid Mais je ne pouvais pas rester I gotta go 2-3-4 In the morning I will wake under golden rays Make a coffee, run away Try again and again I gotta go
4.
Make-Believe 02:56
Might you be able to skip over obstacles by skipping an enchanted jump rope? Cast a spell at the gym and gain the strength to stand up for yourself? Our toaster oven gives way to flames and I imagine the landlord's house burning down. Burnt black toast. Why would he fuck with us when we know where he lives? I may seem quiet but I'm still a vengeful bitch Pitching porcelain dishes at the brick walls of hidden alleyways; the greatest smash hits of Renaissance. Discarded dishes, my disposable body. Shattered plates and the anger dissipates. I'll go to the welfare office with you and I'll hold your hand and translate when I can I once filled a shoebox with every reminder of my childhood love: tiny charms, cassette tapes, a cloth, pages torn from magazines. I tucked it under my bed, lit a candle, and the next time he saw me - he kissed me! In a secret place along the Lachine Canal I've written a protection spell
5.
Alone in the world, convinced this is really the end Explorer of the night confused by the map in her hands The moon softly glows, she cannot stifle her grin Learning to shed the what-ifs of what could have been High on sleep deprivation suddenly on a lark She thought she was wishing upon a star but it was Mars Easy mistake anyone could make because it's so far She changes her path, hands gripping the handlebars Pedals turn round, the grind of a rusty chain Pushing uphill along the city's bike lane Taking deep breaths, appreciative of the pain Elle est dans la lune, just a steady pace to maintain Il y a un an deux peines d'amour en même temps Mais cet été-là elle se dit que ça sera différent Tout le monde dit qu'elle est résiliente De sa tête et son coeur jusqu'à ses jambes On ne voit pas souvent des femmes poilues comme ça A man says to a friend en croyant qu'elle ne comprends pas They don't see her strength, they don't know where she came from She's so far past that, it cannot be an insult But there's something about the old men seated in dives I don't mean to say that they're innocent, special, or wise Envy of solitude, sadness in their eyes She feels akin to them as she plots her demise "My life, which seems so simple and monotonous is really a complicated affair of cafés where they like me and cafés where they don't, streets that are friendly, streets that aren't, rooms where I might be happy, rooms where I never shall be, looking-glasses I look nice in, looking-glasses I don't, dresses that will be lucky, dresses that won't, and so on." Spoken too soon, she's fallen in love again Trois heures du matin les deux se tenaient les mains Pavement below, Mars above, the two in between Elle se tourne et demande: Est-ce que je peux t'embrasser?

credits

released April 26, 2018

Recorded at La Plante by Megan Miller (except for vocals on I Gotta Go, recorded by Spencer Schurman and Sar Ayton)
Mixed by Spencer Schurman and Sar Ayton
All songs by Total Betty
Lyrics by Amber Dearest (except bridge in Smutty Hollow, excerpted from Good Morning, Midnight by Jean Rhys, 1939)

Amber Dearest - vocals
Tiffany Paige - guitar, backup vocals
Flo B. - drums
Cee Lavery - violin

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Total Betty Montreal, Québec

What would happen if the head cheerleader, the misfit, the dropout, and the band geeks started a punk band?

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